dearcoquette:

Dear Coquette,

How the hell can you NOT hate someone who abused you for 18 years?

If you can’t imagine yourself not hating someone, that means you’ve allowed that hate to become a part of your identity. You believe the hate you feel is an integral and inseparable part of you, but I…

mormondelight:

couldonlyfindthedog:

HOW TO SUCK DICK

If you simply wanted to get a guy off as quickly as possible, all you need to do is lock your lips at the base of his cock and suction them up and down the bottom ¾ of his shaft at a quick, steady pace while pressing your flattened tongue against the underside of his dick. Make sure you are applying pressure with both your lips AND tongue. 

Keeping your tongue engaged at all times is key. I try to keep mine moving at all times. This is how you get 90% of guys off. It helps me keep from gagging to hold his cock steady at the base and bring my lips down to meet my fingers. You can do this very slowly for a more intense feeling, but make sure you move at a steady rhythm. Some guys like it faster or slower; you may have to ask, or more likely, he’ll tell you.

This is your power move, the one that is actually going to bring him to orgasm. A true hooker blowjob needs only this one move; if scientists were to create a blowjob machine, this is what it would do. The other moves I’m going to teach you are artistic flourishes; you use them to add flair and style to your blowjob or to slow down the action a little.

SALIVA
Don’t be afraid to just slobber all over his love muscle. It should be as wet and sloppy as possible, especially during your power move. A good blowjob makes loud, gross suction-y noises. When I’m done, I’m usually covered in my own drool and leave a wet spot on the bed.

USING YOUR HANDS
If his dick is too big for you to take the whole thing in your mouth, you’ll need to use your hand too. Slobber all over his cock for awhile first so your hand will slide easily up and down instead of just catching on his dry skin. The most important hand move is the twister. When you slide your hand up his shaft, twist your wrist. A twisting motion gets you into a smoother rhythm than the straight up and down. Slide your hand up and down on the base of his cock in conjunction with your mouth moving up and down on the rest of it. The hard part is finding the correct grip: again you may want his guidance.

Another good trick is to wrap your hand around the top of his cock and put your mouth over your hand. Then slide your hand down the shaft and your mouth down on top of it in a fluid motion until your hand meets the base of his cock. It will feel like you’re sliding your mouth all the way down him even if you can’t. It’s times like these I wish I could draw; I’d make little diagrams.

THE BALLS
I usually start out by paying some attention to the balls. There are three basic ball moves: you can put them in your mouth and suck them (LIGHTLY), lick them with a flattened cow tongue, or tense your tongue into a point and run the tip of your tongue all over them. I alternate between all three. Sometimes I lift them up and lick underneath his balls.

Also, if you cup them while you are entering the home stretch, you’ll be able to tell he’s about to cum as they get higher and tighter.

THE HEAD
My next move is usually to give his shaft several long licks from base to tip. This is the ice cream cone move; it looks sexy, it’s a nice touch, but it’s not going to make anybody cum. While conducting the power move, I come up from time to time to give the head a little attention: sucking on it, moving my tongue in a circle around it, and flicking my tongue over that spot on the underside that all the sex websites tell you is el sensitivo. In my experience, guys don’t really go that wild over attention to that spot, but these are just flourishes anyway.

I tend to get a bit wrapped up in my work that I forget to make eye contact, so head action is a great time to look up at him with puppy dog eyes and his cock in your mouth.

FACE SLAPPING
I mentioned this in my tips to get him to cum faster, but at least once during the beej, I usually pop his dick out of my mouth and slap it against my tongue or face, then look at him while I rub his cock against my cheeks and lips. Guys are visual, this is just a little something dirty for him to look at.

DEEP THROAT
I can’t really teach you how to deep throat, that’s between you and your gag reflex. The important thing, I think, is to make an effort to take him in as deep as you can, even if it’s only for a few seconds. It’s hard to explain exactly how I do this: try concentrating on relaxing your throat and jaw. As I mentioned before, it helps me to steady his cock with my hand when I go deep, and breathing in instead of just holding your breath also helps abate that “gonna puke” feeling.

THE BIG FINALE
When you’re ready to finish him off, go into the power move and don’t vary your pace for anything. If you’re cupping his balls, you’ll often be able to tell when he’s about to cum as they tighten up. I speed up a little bit at the end, and when I feel him start to come I push my head down as deep as it will go and suck slowly and intensely at the base, letting his cum just shoot down my throat.

Preaching the Gospel of Truth.

the fox’s name is Fiero

magik23:

Link Wray - Rumble

One of the originals of rock and roll, one of the first songs to use power chords and one of the first to use guitar distortion back in ‘58. It was banned from radio play and it’s an instrumental for christ sake.

do you know what its like to feel the hate from that man?
you dont feel it cause he doesnt do it to you


ive ruined his life
well hes gonna make me pay

im tired of fighting him
he needs to learn that this will come back to him if he doesnt start treating me better


kristen keeps putting me down
what? what did I do?
you’re on his side
that’s not what Im saying
Im just saying that I dont want to hear you talk about him
katie tries to calmly and rationally explain that she (mom) can understand how it must not be the healthiest thing




talked about the car
you will make the payments
you will not give me the car



you take his side


and you were defending him

wei4 li4 xin1



can god make a bigger rock than he can roll?


mom may have agrued for more alimony and was being so frugal with it  with the apt cost  because all of the money from her side will go to us  but only part of his money will go to us now because he has another wife-still married and thus a much younger so more needed needier of the money  theyd all get more than us    so this way just that much more of his money at the end of it would go to us




alcoholics are like addicts


nicitine is a drug  addicting  smoking is a diseasce like alcoholism
has adverse-ish effects on the brain chemistry and changes the molecular line up to increase obsessive desire  addiction



the term “bitch”

applied by male to male
very offensive  sign of being lesser pussy like-a-woman weak

applied by female to male
laughed at
regarded as hilarious that the concept even could have been applied
construct stands that woman is perceived as lesser




from one phone call


cant you just do this for me

they both wont answer my questions

suv as a shield protection




store money during divorce



always hadthe answer
right?
cause of patient
cant hesitate

tangents..
starts to say goodbye
throws out a tidbit
runs along a new tangent
another 10 min
if dont answer
okay I’ll shut up thenme!




switching psychs like switching boyfriends



pot calling the kettle black




other people’s time dependent on mine

need to know why I do something to better understand

meetings to evaluate what can be done better





own who you are

Quit forgetting. Remember how little you care whether he keeps breathing? Remember how much of a badass you are? Remember how big the world is outside your small college campus, and how none of it really matters?








same song different verse






STARBUCKS
mocha v whitemocha
mocha xhot
2%
frappacino whole
pastries old


I…
care about people
efficient
helpful
observant/watchful
get along with others


people need to…
have money ready
be polite
if dont know anything then talk inside
cell
wiper
not dumb  count change




sinking

fuzzy
light
content

flying

happy giggly

content




deep sadness

ability to feel sadness now



colors standing out and extra vivid

depression

slowed breathing  like have to remember to breathe
unfocused flat heavy lids   heavy body
bent over no breathing
planning when too slow was too much and what to text katie so she’d send 911 cause cant call cause cant summon focus and energy to be able to talk let alone breathe and then what else needs to be done
kitten in kennel?
must get her safe she’ll run away
pants  im not wearing pants  they cant see me without pants it’ll be in the paper  it;ll be the detail they all remember about me  and my tightie whities
kitten in her leash ona  table leg
will have to do leg first then leash her
cant work the latch put her in window room
lure her over
cant do that and pants and text
itll take so long to text
i dont have enough energy to texts
gahhhh


pain in hands cant move
(lots of other cant move moments above)


cant nt stop everything and watch the dog worrying over his bone

revelation - shawn
release
content

pl

temp flux really hot

temp flux really cold

temp flux

heavy

temp flex

really hot
craving sweets

slow come down
content
realization - macy

realization - southland
incredbly appealing  sounds poetic

close focus singled out
stiff body
constant dry mouth
craving water

craving sweet

suddenly a whole new smart  big words  quick thoughts  rapid response  pointed comments  honesty to shawn

content
quiet revelation

revelation poor imigrants turn to drugs

sudden thought of tomorrow being another long lonely day - all days will be lonely now cause Im alone - unhappy sad slipping to neg emotion world

revelation weed magnifies my emotional imbalance and fluctuating emotions and gives me the words to explain them - even the sudden loneliness detachment

revelation family history



too much sugar  heart racing








macy emotionally dependent
currently really clingy
    because she missed me the last 2 days? did 2 10 hr work days plus sleep
sleeps on my bed next to my body


before slept with me next to my face





i see second and next layers within the writing and staging and develpment about bones


apparently Ive only talked to 6 people on aim since this computer was bought plus emily on fb and shelly/ellen through textokay.


turn to drugs because they are in the make money quick and easy phase of psych social dvp
they reproduce faster than elite-er
gone through a number of new generationers faster than the others
higher rate of crime and such
parents choose tobe hardworking even at menial jobs no one else wants
tries to keep family toits gether



on pot magnifying the emotional fluctuations



I dont know why they always write it that the younger generation is tired of hearing their life stories
people who dont know how to deal with life and emotions learn from the tv because their own parents didnt know how to deal with similar
those people who learn from tv see this over and over and so do not tell their children these stories and so their children see this and learn and dont tell their children and then their children know nothing of their family and their family history which is a personal legacy and definition of who you are  where you came from  what you can become  written in your dna
do all the other older generations tell their families these stories all the time?


I really want to fight for the gays
change laws for gays and mentally ill
change how the world perseves mentally ill
and for the rights of the indians
   

can there be a mentally ill aarp?  hard to verify   easy to stay in after no depressed unless benefits not popular  like old people are old verifiable  dont ever revert


phil having a starbucks party that I didnt go to and then complain that theres no starbucks party  I want to be a part of it but I dont let myself think I can go or be wanted


I just realized coke talk is what those clouded souls in the back of those dirty coffee shops rhyming out the truth of the world to the beats of the drum
the words from a philosophy master

I wrote out notes to the people that helped train me and shaped my time at starbucks.

I feel it’s important to let people know what an incredible impact they’ve had on my life. I wanted to thank you all for teaching me so much while I was here and to show that I appreciate the little things you did for me.

I still love all you post-me hires too!
I had so much fun with you all and am really sad to leave everyone.

<3!


Alisha
You are so sweet! I’m sad we haven’t gotten to work together much but I always looked forward to it when we did. Thanks for responding the same way I do to all that stuff and for making me feel less crazy. I really appreciate all of your kind words and solidarity. Congratulations on the new baby and I hope your family continues to be incredible!


Ashley
I learn so much watching you interact with customers. You are so strong and confident; there’s a lot still to learn from you. Thanks for all the help and the watchful eye when I’m making drinks! You’re the most balanced amazing person I’ve ever known. I still don’t know how you manage to do all you did at Starbucks while kicking butt in school and raising such an incredible daughter. Blows my mind. Thanks for showing me all that was possible. I hope school continues to go so well!


Audrey
Thanks for all the encouragement and help you’ve given me.
I learned all my drive thru skills from you! I really appreciate how you watch out for me ..in those scarce minutes when you’re not swamped. :P I’m so glad we’ve gotten to hang out more and I’m super excited to hang out in NY with you! Thanks for being my morning drive thru buddy. I’ll miss you so much!

PS Let them drink drinks! :P



Charlie
You always make me smile hun. Thank you for your cheerful approach to work and all of the help you give me! I need to learn much more from your way of approaching life. You’re a super good shift and I’ve loved closing with you. Thanks for always making my days better. You’ll have to keep me updated on everything. Lots of luck on the job change if you decide to go through with it.


Jamila
You make the evening shifts really entertaining! Thank you for all your subtle help. I still need to learn from your calm approach to work. I’m gonna miss talking to you….you’ll have to keep me updated on facebook! And thanks for the mini house parties you had. They were super fun. I’m so glad classes have been going so well. Hope they keep being interesting and stop being all complicated and philosphical!


Jeff Heika
Jeff! It’s always so much fun working with you! Thanks for all of the advice you’ve given me. I will miss your humor and story time so much. You’ve had such an incredible life and it’s so interesting!


John M
Thanks for answering most of my millions of questions. I’m glad we got to bond during snowpocalypse and I love all the stories you tell. Some of my favorite memories are you making a french press and talking about the coffee. Thanks for giving me the job and letting me into such a great group of people. I’ve learned so much from working at Starbucks and I love all the people!


Lakia
Such a sweetheart! Thanks for the words of encouragement and confidence. I still need to learn from your calm approach to work and your drive thru skills! Sad we didn’t get to hang out much but I really enjoyed all the closes we did together. You’ll have to help me more with fashion when I get back!


Phil
Thanks for the tons of help you gave me in the beginning! And I love all of your stories. And food! :) It’s always so much fun to chill with you during shifts and catch up on all the life gossip. Congrats on the new place! I’m sure it’ll be the perfect change. Keep me updated on any news!


Serah
You are such a great shift! And such a sweetheart! Thanks for answering all my random questions and being so observant and on top of things. Your relaxed confidence makes working with you some of my favorite shifts.
FYI John once admitted to me that at your height working at Starbucks, he felt you were the best barista on the morning shift. Most fluid, best time, most efficient. :)

Summer
I really appreciate your behind the scenes help while I learned the ropes at Starbucks. Sad we never really clicked and never got the right shifts to get to know each other but I always admired your work ethic and how awesome you clearly are. Hope everything works out with all the stuff that was going on.

Jonica
You are so sweet! I’ve almost gotten the hang of the morning shift thanks to you. I always feel so much better when you’re working with me cause I know you’ve got my back. Thanks for the constant confidence and support.
You’re an incredible shift, never doubt yourself. Everyone loves you and you handle all the responsibility so well. I loved having the chance to hang out with you. I’ll be looking forward to our adventure when I get back! I really want to get to know your approach to life better. Perhaps when I get back there’ll be time. I hope the addition of Candice goes super well and that everything else keeps getting better.


John W
Thank you SO much for always having words of encouragement and positivity. I learned so much from you and really appreciate your guidance and patience. Thanks for figuring out that I learn best from explanation and reason, it really helped me get a hang of work much faster.

matt-smith-:robin-sparkles:poisonedandhopeless:

Doctor Who

Doctor Who is a British science fiction television programme produced by the BBC. The programme depicts the adventures of a mysterious and eccentric Time Lord known as the Doctor who travels through time and space in his time machine, the TARDIS (an acronym for Time And Relative Dimension(s) In Space), which normally appears from the exterior to be a blue 1950s British police box. With his companions, he explores time and space, faces a variety of foes and saves civilizations, helping people and righting wrongs.

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Season 4 HDTV
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He just called to say he missed me and was thinking about me and couldn’t wait till I called him.

It’s a losing battle. omg.

11:33pm 11/4/11

11:27 pm
    I apologized because I clearly wasn’t done processing and dealing with the stuff. I apologized because I felt there was unresolved stuff and I needed to know where I stood. I needed a response so I could have the apology acknowledged. I needed a response so I could find my footing again. It wasn’t too much to ask to have an emotional and meaningful comment not be ignored.
    When I’m going through my bad times I want to know that I’m not alone. I want to know that I’m not crazy. That these things my mind is telling me aren’t true. That I do deserve someone to love me. That I am a good person. That I’ll be okay.